But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
– Yeats
My current struggles seem to center around my faults. It bothers me to no end when I forget things and when I see myself as unreliable. With these things, I often lean on my doctors and counselors to find balance for myself. I do have diagnosed mental illnesses. It is hard to deal with that fact alone. But when I have accidental overdose(s) or cannot bear to go to school, it is harder yet.
This overall fragile feeling made me think of the quote above. I lean so heavily on my doctors to help me cope and maintains some self-respect. It’s like I have placed my dreams under their feet.
I used to write about my walk with God so much more. I like me then better. So, it just makes me think how I need to put my dreams in God’s hands. And if only I would concentrate on my Creator – I would worry less about whatever conditions I have. If He made me this way, it must be okay. And if He promises everyone else that He has a plan for their life, surely He cares for me and has a plan for me.
January 24, 2012 at 5:29 am
Sending love and hugs your way this morning. Well, without doubt, I think a part of God’s plan for you is to be a blessing in my life.
Granted a teeny, tiny part of your life, but a big part of mine and others as well. I love your quick wit; I admire and appreciate your service to the local church (for example, your work in the library, sitting down front, providing children who sing in the choir, etc.); I appreciate so much all you do for the school; I am grateful for your help when I’ve needed someone to go with me to doctor’s appointments.
Imperfect man can always knowingly or unknowingly trample our dreams. But our perfect heavenly Father loves us unconditionally, and I’m convinced He smiles and blesses us when we look steadfastly to Him who has promised to supply all our needs – mental, emotional, physical.
Whoops, there I go again “preaching” but I’ve a lifetime of experience proving the faithfulness of the God we serve and just want to encourage you to as Paul said “forget what lies behind, press on to win the prize….” and “fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith.”
January 24, 2012 at 9:21 pm
I’m here for you and proud of you for getting the help you need!
I too feel fragile on some days…..
this week all the emotions from the weekend’s experiences and a difficult day at work had me driving home in tears, praying aloud..then the radio station (K-LOVE) began playing the Building429 song “Where I belong” …about how “This is not where I belong”……and God provided such peace..once I realized that this world will contain unrest, sickness, imperfect days at work, confusion, anger, sadness, loneliness.. but heaven will have none of that…and THAT is where my citizenship really lies.
Psalm 119:19 says that I am a stranger on this earth. No kidding 